Our feelings drive our actions. Think about it: you wake up in the morning, and you don’t feel like working out because you had a little too much wine the night before. What happens? You skip the workout. That’s the power of feelings—they drive what we do.

The same principle applies in business. Our feelings dictate whether or not we are writing a check. Did you make me feel good? Do I feel confident about this investment? Is it meeting my goals? Is it aligned with my values? Is it driving what I want to accomplish for my company? These are the real questions running through a decision-maker’s mind.

That’s why it’s critical to get to those feelings at the very beginning. Because that is what moves decisions. If all we do is focus on finances—how much money you want and negotiating over price—you don’t leave yourself much room to maneuver. That conversation usually ends with a simple yes or no.

But here’s the thing: decisions aren’t purely financial. They are emotional. And if you don’t tap into the feelings and motivations behind the decision, you are missing the real driver of action.

So ask yourself: what are you doing to move the needle on the feelings of the people you influence? Are their emotions tracking with the requests you are making? Because when they are—when you connect on that emotional level—you are not just asking them to move forward. You are giving them a reason to want to move forward with you.

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