A few years ago, I was taking a self-improvement course in New York City with a good friend of mine. After the program, we returned to my condo in Fort Lee, New Jersey, on the 10th floor. Now, my friend is an accomplished pilot. He flew overseas commercially for a major airline and was a former military pilot.

I walked onto the terrace to see my family playing below. I looked behind me and suddenly saw my friend, the pilot, hugging the wall.

I said, “What’s wrong? You have the fear of death on your face.”

He said, “I’m afraid of heights.”

I said, “How can you, a pilot, be afraid of heights?”

His response resonated with me: “Look, as long as there’s a roof over my head, I’m fine.” That made sense to me because I, too, had a fear of heights. But I always wondered how could I keep flying with that fear? What he said made sense. As long as I am enclosed in a tube, I feel fine.

When I moved into that condo, I didn’t feel fine. I had that fear of heights.

How did I get over it?

Well, when we have fears, they create psychological responses that overwhelm us. When we’re feeling overwhelmed, we tend not to do anything, and we become prisoners of our fears.

To confront my fear, I asked myself, “What’s the worst thing that can happen?” “I could fall over the terrace or fall down the stairs.” “Is that going to happen?” “Probably not. There’s a big banister there.” So, I decided to gradually approach the banister, taking in the view.

Well, I only lasted for 30 seconds. But every day thereafter, I forced myself to go out there for a little longer. Before I knew it, that fear of heights started going away because I was getting more comfortable dealing with that fear.

So, if you ever find yourself a prisoner of fear in your life that’s preventing you from living the life you want, try and get comfortable with your fears and inch your way forward.

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